Sunday's Joke of the Day

It's for my husband." a woman told a gun store owner while shopping for a rifle.

"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" the owner asked.

"Are you kidding?" she said. "He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him."

My wife works over-thyme in her herb garden before she decides it is time to cumin.

My wife is so talented. She does the best bird imitations. She watches me like a hawk.

A third grade teacher was getting to know her pupils on the first day of school. She turned to one little girl and asked, "What does your Daddy do?"

The girl replied, "Whatever my Mommy tells him to do."

Two widows were visiting in the lounge of the Seniors' Center. "Well," said one, "Mary has just cremated her third husband."

"Yeah, that's the way it goes," replied the other widow. "Some of us can't find a husband, and others have husbands to burn!"

One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen to my neighbor," she says. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?"