~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Joke:

A famous football player for the Minnesota Vikings had died, and because he believed he was descended from a real Viking, he wanted to be cremated on an open pyre.

At the ceremony, a fan of the player managed to get through security and began to make a pest of himself by asking questions of the other football players in attendance.

The security people began to chase the gate-crasher and, unfortunately, he stumbled into the fire and perished along with the body of his hero.

It was a case of going from the prying fan into the pyre.